Review - Transformers 3

Transformers (3): Dark of the Moon wasn't a total waste.  The action scenes were fun, and there were some awesome 3-D effects.  For example, after the Paramount stars whoosh by, a star field appears and falls deep into the screen.  We then get to see the planet Cybertron in the midst of its war.  The 3-D was so breathtaking, I thought there might be hope for the movie.  But then, after the "Transformers" title sequence, it's a cut to Rosie Huntington-Whitely's mostly-naked butt.  I'm not kidding.  (Great!  Now all the teenage male horn-dogs reading this review are going to flock to the theaters!)

Rosie is Megan Fox's replacement.  Where Megan's character failed to make me care, Rosie's character succeeded in being the most hated love-interest I've ever seen in a movie.  Before I continue, it wasn't so much the actresses' performance as much as it was the script and directing.  Michael Bay sometimes forgets to help the viewers like the characters.  (He succeeds in some of his movies, so I'm a little confused here.)  Rosie's character is so pretty, vain, and set on riches, it's hard not to hate her.  When she leaves Sam in the middle of the movie over something so inane, you can't help but think, "Good riddance."  What did Sam ever see in her?  (Besides that, you horn-dogs.)

This all happened in that hour in the middle that went on forever.  The cool 3-D effects rested.  A plot attempted to form, but it was so confusing, with characters making inconsistent decisions.  I was about to regret spending the money.  But then the last hour happened, and it was just cool.  There's something about seeing Chicago being blown off the map.  We also got to see the humans join the fight.

I can't tell if the 3-D effects were better than in Avatar (as the claim goes), but I believe that Avatar better employed the effects to enhance and promote the plot.  That's what gets remembered, and a year from now, people will still be calling Avatar the best use of 3-D in a recent movie.

Despite the film's flaws, I got my money's worth from the opening scene and the last hour.  If you don't mind surviving the boring middle hour and the terrible plot, then go see this movie.

Lastly, I'd like to share something I found on YouTube.  This guy found two action scenes that were borrowed from The Island (one of my guilty pleasures) and retouched.  It's common for artists to reuse material.  There's nothing wrong with this, but you have to admire anyone who catches it.  Kudos to cinefilojermain23 for discovering this.