Rental Review: Hoodwinked, Transformers 2

Do you know those movies that you know you never want to see, but then for some reason or another, you watch it, and it turns out to be much better than you thought it would be?  Hoodwinked is one of those movies.  Yes, it has terrible graphics and corny jokes, but (this is not evident in the trailer) the storyline itself is actually kind of funny.

The movie begins with cops investigating a domestic dispute at Granny's house.  The head detective enters: a frog (I hate frogs) with an English accent.  I just knew I was in trouble.  Little Red Riding Hood tells her story first.  The wolf is chasing her.  A few funny things happen.  She thinks she sees Granny floating in the clouds.  Yawn.  End of story?

No, next the Big Bad Wolf tells his side of the story.  This is where the movie takes off.  Things are not what they seem.  The full story isn't revealed until we hear it from Granny and the Woodsman as well.  And it's a doozy.  Though, once all is revealed, the last 15 minutes or so isn't quite so entertaining.  (I felt the same about Vantage Point, which is isomorphic to this film--only not animated.)

If you haven't seen it yet, go ahead and rent it.  It's worth watching at least once.

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Transformers (2): Revenge of the Fallen, on the other hand has got to be the most boring movie I've seen all year long.  (It even beats Where the Wild Things Are.)  It had some cool fight scenes, but the "plot" is just an excuse to get from one scene to the next.

This movie has no "care"-acters.  That is, I see people moving around on the screen and moving their mouths, but there isn't a single person that I cared about.  The lines all feel like they're being read.  Michael Bay goes out of his way to show how pretty Megan Fox is, but who cares?

And what's up with all the language and sexual innuendos?  The original cartoons were geared toward children.  This movie seems more for the horn-dog male teenagers.  My kids were uncomfortable watching.  I found much of the robot's stereotypes to be offensive and not funny at all.  It didn't work in the Star Wars prequels, and it should just never be used again.  These robots come from outer space--so why do those two little robots sound like ghetto potty-mouths?  Why does the one robot have to be Scottish?

My advice: If you saw the first movie, missed the second, and you want to go see the third movie out in theaters now (review coming shortly): Skip this second movie.  You won't miss a thing.

Actually, now that I think about it, you can skip the first movie as well.